One Year Later

Yesterday marked one year of incredible partnership with my wonderful husband. As a result, I found myself reflecting back over the events of the year. So much has happened! I finished collecting data for my dissertation, we moved to D.C. and then to Silver Spring into our first house, we got our darling pup Lola, I ran a half-marathon, I completed my yoga teacher training and embarked on a new part of my career and much much more! It's been quite busy these past 12 months! 

But, perhaps the biggest change for me has been my daily approach to life. I used to yearn to be more mindful, more disciplined, work harder, practice more yoga, the list goes on and on. Instead of noticing where I was and what I was doing in the moment, I was so focused on what I should be doing, how if I was doing something else, something better, I could avoid all of the stress and frustration of daily life. Writing it here, it sounds silly, but I have a strong suspicion I'm not alone in having these thoughts! 

This year, moving away from my life in New York, away from the security of a school/work life that I relied on to give my daily life structure and meaning, I was forced to let go, to rebuild. And, something magical happened. I became more mindful, I practice daily yoga, I don't know if I am more disciplined or work harder, but I found peace with who I am and my work/life "style." Sure, I still experience the daily stress and frustration of everyday life, but I also find myself feeling more gratitude, more happiness, and more freedom. When I let go of what I thought I should be doing and feeling, I began actually doing more and feeling more (than just anxiety). I look back at what we have accomplished over the last year, and I not only feel proud that we did them, I feel proud that I experienced them in all of their wonderful, scary, anxiety-provoking, frustrating, exciting glory.

Are there expectations, "shoulds" that weigh you down in your daily life? What happens if you let go? 

I'll leave you with a favorite passage of mine from Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go There You Are:

 "When we let go of wanting something else to happen in this moment, we are taking a profound step toward being able to encounter what is here now. If we hope to go anywhere or develop ourselves in any way, we can only step from where we are standing. If we don't really know where we are standing--a knowing that comes directly from the cultivation of mindfulness--we may only go in circles, for all our efforts and expectations. So, in meditation practice, the best way to get somewhere is to let go of trying to get anywhere at all." (15-16)

Have a wonderful week!