Wasting Time Or Living Life?

I've been thinking a lot about procrastination lately. I've also been practicing a lot of procrastination lately. Mind-body connection of course.

We often think of procrastination as wasting time. This can (and often does) result in a variety of negative emotions such as guilt, impatience, anxiety, etc. What I have noticed, however, is that a lot actually happens during procrastination. For example, if I did not procrastinate on writing my dissertation, I might never have started this blog.  In fact, I might never have moved forward with my yoga practice, established Allay Yoga, or found the people that inspired me to begin writing a blog in the first place.

I will finish my dissertation. The time between writing sessions is not wasted, it is simply another part of my daily life. Well, it's actually more than that.  It's time that I spend developing another part of myself. A part that I treasure and may have never found if I did not take a little time to procrastinate.


I'll leave you with a wonderful quote from Judith Lasater's Living Your Yoga: Finding the Spiritual in Everyday Life:

"What is really wasted? Nothing. All gives me the opportunity to live in the present moment. When I do, I am patient. This realization supports even the most mundane events of my daily life. I can wait in lines, sit in traffic jams, and understand when someone is late for an appointment. All of these times--waiting, sitting, and understanding--are valuable. I can choose not to experience them as wasted time by choosing to be present and actually living these precious moments. After all, to reject them is to reject life itself. The challenge comes in remembering that I can choose and that this choice is the most profound of freedoms." (77)

One Year Later

Yesterday marked one year of incredible partnership with my wonderful husband. As a result, I found myself reflecting back over the events of the year. So much has happened! I finished collecting data for my dissertation, we moved to D.C. and then to Silver Spring into our first house, we got our darling pup Lola, I ran a half-marathon, I completed my yoga teacher training and embarked on a new part of my career and much much more! It's been quite busy these past 12 months! 

But, perhaps the biggest change for me has been my daily approach to life. I used to yearn to be more mindful, more disciplined, work harder, practice more yoga, the list goes on and on. Instead of noticing where I was and what I was doing in the moment, I was so focused on what I should be doing, how if I was doing something else, something better, I could avoid all of the stress and frustration of daily life. Writing it here, it sounds silly, but I have a strong suspicion I'm not alone in having these thoughts! 

This year, moving away from my life in New York, away from the security of a school/work life that I relied on to give my daily life structure and meaning, I was forced to let go, to rebuild. And, something magical happened. I became more mindful, I practice daily yoga, I don't know if I am more disciplined or work harder, but I found peace with who I am and my work/life "style." Sure, I still experience the daily stress and frustration of everyday life, but I also find myself feeling more gratitude, more happiness, and more freedom. When I let go of what I thought I should be doing and feeling, I began actually doing more and feeling more (than just anxiety). I look back at what we have accomplished over the last year, and I not only feel proud that we did them, I feel proud that I experienced them in all of their wonderful, scary, anxiety-provoking, frustrating, exciting glory.

Are there expectations, "shoulds" that weigh you down in your daily life? What happens if you let go? 

I'll leave you with a favorite passage of mine from Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go There You Are:

 "When we let go of wanting something else to happen in this moment, we are taking a profound step toward being able to encounter what is here now. If we hope to go anywhere or develop ourselves in any way, we can only step from where we are standing. If we don't really know where we are standing--a knowing that comes directly from the cultivation of mindfulness--we may only go in circles, for all our efforts and expectations. So, in meditation practice, the best way to get somewhere is to let go of trying to get anywhere at all." (15-16)

Have a wonderful week!

Starting a Blog!

When I've taken the time over the past few months to think about and list my goals for the future, starting a blog has always come up. I've hesitated out of fear of having nothing interesting to put out there or exposing too much about myself and my life on the internet, but I've come to realize that this is actually what it is all about. The bloggers that often inspire me (see Tranquility Du Jour, The Not So Big Life, The Recessionista Confessions ) exhibit a certain fearlessness about putting their thoughts and experiences out there and it is this openness and consequential camaraderie that creates the inspiration! Learning how others find peace, creativity, beauty, happiness, insight and much, much more in the mundane or, at times, the difficult, provides me with an invaluable set of tools to do the same in my own life. I hope the musings here help to do the same for you!