Just Perfect
Sometimes I feel like being a mom brings out the worst in me. On my bad days I am a nagging, selfish, materialistic, perfectionist worrier. And all without a sense of humor. So I’ve been thinking about having more compassion for myself, because I know I can be hard on the people I love the most, including the person I hang around most often... me :)
Having compassion for myself means truly listening to what I need. For me, it’s getting to a yoga class whenever I can, and letting my husband spend daddy time with Lucy. It’s looking for a baby-sitter that I’m comfortable with. Maybe then I’ll be able to give more of myself in creative, unexpected ways. But for now, I’m just taking it one step at a time. Giving myself a break can help me to be kinder to my family, so that in the acceptance comes the wholeness, the perfection that we are seeking.
Where does this myth of the perfect mom come from? A lot of my mom friends seem to want to raise their kids differently from the way they were raised. But is this ideal putting too much pressure on motherhood, already the most difficult job out there? How about asking ourselves, what are the good things about our parents that we cherish and can pass on to our children, and in the way we parent? My mother has a knack for seeing the beauty in the ordinary. Growing up, we were never bored. She was pointing out things we would not notice, like interesting cloud formations, the way a tree or plant was thriving, the vastness of mountains. I find myself doing the same with Lucy, as we greet the morning sun, marvel at a flower, or watch a spider spinning its web. Then I remember my mom and feel the connection and wholeness.
Now that Lucy has turned one, she is everything all at once - adorable and exasperating, ebullient and frustrating, amazing and crazy-making - and yes, she is just perfect. Everything is as it should be. Accepting our seemingly imperfect selves can help us to embrace the goodness, or the perfection, that is already there, no matter what.
Here’s a beautiful prayer from the Upanishads ( The Upanishads are ancient texts from which yoga philosophy was born) that encapsulates this feeling.
Om purnam adah purnam idam
Purnat purnam udachyate
Purnasya purnam adaya
Purnam evavashishyate.
That is whole. This is whole. From the whole the whole becomes manifest. From the whole when the whole is negated, what remains again is the whole. (Instead of the word “whole”, you can also try to substitute the word “perfect” or “goodness”.)
About Heidi:Heidi discovered yoga as a way to center and ground herself and connect with others when she began teaching young children in NYC in the late 90’s. Her practice started at Jivamukti where she trainined with Sharon Gannon and David Life, her first and most honored teachers, and expanded to include Alan Finger, Shiva Rea, and Molly Kenny. She completed her Jivamukti training in 2009. As a school teacher Heidi loved bringing yoga into her classroom. Now that she’s a mom, she finds herself inspired by her daughter to delve deeper into child development and teaching fun, creative yoga classes for families. She loves the balance of teaching little ones and adults. Her motto is to find the middle path. Heidi credits yoga for keeping her balanced and sane, and loves the journey! Heidi lives in Silver Spring with her daughter Lucy and husband Pasha.
Heidi teaches Open Flow (All Levels) Thursdays at 8:00 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
a lesson from my favorite teacher
I want to be completely honest with you. I am slightly obsessed with my dog Lola. Ok, completely obsessed. For many of you, this admission is probably no surprise.
But, really, who wouldn't be? She's adorable, she's sweet, she's always happy to see me, she's entertaining, she's smart and she is one of the best yoga teachers I have ever had. Although her down dog is impressive, I'm not talking about learning the physical poses from Lola. I'm talking about learning to be mindful, which, for me, is a constant challenge.
Often I move through my days so quickly, trying to meet each demand that comes my way. Finding time to just be, to take in the present moment for all its glory somehow doesn't make it to the top of my priority list, even when I try to schedule it in, which, yes, I have actually tried to do--more than once. I literally try to PLAN times to be present. And, if that is not ironic enough, I rarely actually take the time to DO IT because there is always something else to plan or schedule. It's a vicious cycle.
But, there's good news. With the right teacher, one, even a MEGAPLANNER like me, can learn to break the cycle. In fact, today, for me, the cycle was broken. And, it was Lola that taught me how.
Here's how it happened: One of Lola's favorite pastimes is to lie down on the guest bed and look out the window, keeping watch of the neighborhood. Usually, I walk by her doing this very thing several times a day. I'll stick my head in as I pass by and whisper random lovely dovey sentiments in a high-pitched voice that she has no way of understanding and continue on my way, often back to planning. But, today, Lola wagged her tail so excitedly when I passed by that I decided to take an extra moment to lie with her. I laid down on my belly, right next to her and almost instantly I became acutely aware of the warmth of her fur. I could feel her belly swell and release with each breath as it pressed against my side. And, then, all of a sudden, I was tuning into my own breath. I noticed Lola's intense focus on an object out in the yard, so I turned my attention to the yard. And all of a sudden the colors of fall flooded my vision. I was just taking it all in. Having a moment. Being present. I couldn't seem to find this stillness on my own, but Lola had shown me how.
It can be difficult to step off the merry-go-round of life for even a minute, especially as we are knee-deep in back to school time, no matter how good our intentions. But, if we look, we can find teachers all around us. Just because you're not on the mat, it doesn't mean you can't practice. You just have to find the right teacher off the mat and your practice will find you...
But, really, who wouldn't be? She's adorable, she's sweet, she's always happy to see me, she's entertaining, she's smart and she is one of the best yoga teachers I have ever had. Although her down dog is impressive, I'm not talking about learning the physical poses from Lola. I'm talking about learning to be mindful, which, for me, is a constant challenge.
Often I move through my days so quickly, trying to meet each demand that comes my way. Finding time to just be, to take in the present moment for all its glory somehow doesn't make it to the top of my priority list, even when I try to schedule it in, which, yes, I have actually tried to do--more than once. I literally try to PLAN times to be present. And, if that is not ironic enough, I rarely actually take the time to DO IT because there is always something else to plan or schedule. It's a vicious cycle.
But, there's good news. With the right teacher, one, even a MEGAPLANNER like me, can learn to break the cycle. In fact, today, for me, the cycle was broken. And, it was Lola that taught me how.
Here's how it happened: One of Lola's favorite pastimes is to lie down on the guest bed and look out the window, keeping watch of the neighborhood. Usually, I walk by her doing this very thing several times a day. I'll stick my head in as I pass by and whisper random lovely dovey sentiments in a high-pitched voice that she has no way of understanding and continue on my way, often back to planning. But, today, Lola wagged her tail so excitedly when I passed by that I decided to take an extra moment to lie with her. I laid down on my belly, right next to her and almost instantly I became acutely aware of the warmth of her fur. I could feel her belly swell and release with each breath as it pressed against my side. And, then, all of a sudden, I was tuning into my own breath. I noticed Lola's intense focus on an object out in the yard, so I turned my attention to the yard. And all of a sudden the colors of fall flooded my vision. I was just taking it all in. Having a moment. Being present. I couldn't seem to find this stillness on my own, but Lola had shown me how.
It can be difficult to step off the merry-go-round of life for even a minute, especially as we are knee-deep in back to school time, no matter how good our intentions. But, if we look, we can find teachers all around us. Just because you're not on the mat, it doesn't mean you can't practice. You just have to find the right teacher off the mat and your practice will find you...
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